


A Spider Is Attacking ABORT! ABORT!

by Moonscar



Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Secret Identity, Social Media, Swearing, Texting, chat fic, chatroom, i hope to reveal it soon enough, messaging, references, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:42:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: Spider-Man: MR.STARK COME IN THE BATHROOM OMGOMGOMGOMGIronPopTartMan: what's wrong kid?!Spider-Man: THERE IS A SPIDER IN THE SINK I NEED YOU TO GET IT OUTSIDE-





	A Spider Is Attacking ABORT! ABORT!

**Spider-Man** : MR.STARK COME IN THE BATHROOM OMGOMGOMGOMG

 **IronPopTartMan** : what's wrong kid?!

 **Spider-Man** : THERE IS A SPIDER IN THE SINK I NEED YOU TO GET IT OUTSIDE-

 **IronPopTartMan** : kid we have been over this- just get a piece of paper and get it outside

 **Spider-Man:** BUT WHAT IF IT CRAWLS ON MY ARM?!

 **IronPopTartMan** : scream bloody murder

 **Spider-Man** : MR.STARK PLLEEAASSEEE

 **Spider-Man** : ...? Mr.Stark?

 **IronPopTartMan** : Mr.Stark is dead, your next. Love, Spider

 **Spider-Man** : THAT'S NOT FUNNY- 

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : WAIT-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : SPIDER-MAN is afraid of SPIDERS?!?!

 **IronPopTartMan** : yes, it's ridiculous, i know

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : IBHDOHDHEXUXHBBHI I NEED TO TELL THIS TO EVERYONE I HAVE EVER MET

 **Spider-Man** : it's not funny! a spider bit me at an expo and that's how i got my powers! it was not a fun experience and it H U R T

 **CaptainRighteous** : It is a bit funny-

 **CoolScienceBro** : Why don't you just kill it?

Spider-Man: what if this spider has a family!? i can't be responsible for killing anything with a family- sure, this spider won't live for long, but it deserves a life like all of us! even if it's terrifying

 **MischievousSnek** : wow, brother was correct, you really are disgustingly precious

 **Spider-Man** : i don't care! can one of you just  _please_ take it outside!?

 **Spider-Man** : OH NO

 **IronPopTartMan** : what now?

 **Spider-Man:** IT'S GONE

 **Spider-Man** : THE CREEPY CRAWLY DEATH DEALER IS GONE OH GOD WE ARE ALL DEAD. EVERYTHING I HAVE GOES TO ORPHANED CHILDREN- PLEASE, BURY ME DEEP MR.STARK

 **CaptainRighteous** : Okay, I think your exaggerating a little bit kid-

 **Mr.Jesus:** hey kid, do you have your mask on? if so then i can come and get you, and put a fuck ton of bug repel-ant in the bathroom

 **Spider-Man** : ye, i also have my mask on hand i would't have ask for you guys to come if i didn't. 

 **Spider-Man** : and... please? i'm sort of stuck on top of the ceiling right now-

 **Mr.Jesus:** sure, be right there

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : this is the best day of my life w o w. SPIDER-MAN is afraid of SPIDERS

 **MischievousSnek** : we heard you the first time bird brain, now shut up

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i feel the love-

**Spider-Man** : hi

 **CaptainRighteous** : Hi

 **Spider-Man** : so, what's it like being Captain America?

 **CaptainRighteous** : It's nice, but hard work

 **Spider-Man** : cool

 **Spider-Man:** er, good yalk

 **CaptainRighteous** : Yeah

 **Spider-Man** : ye

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : that was the most awkward discussion i have ever seen through text my god you guys are hopeless

 **FalconsAreCool** : No comment

 **Mr.Jesus** : I do have a comment, Steve, you awkward shit

 **CaptainRighteous** : Your my boyfriend! Your supposed to defend my honor!

 **Mr.Jesus** : your a hot awkward shit

 **CaptainRighteous** : That doesn't help at all

 **PopTartLover** : What does this term 'hot' mean? I find it that being hot can be unpleasant, but allot of people on the inter-webs refer to me as such

 **Spider-Man** : it means that you are aesthetically pleasing

 **IronPopTartMan** : that might have been the most awkward way to put it

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : the most awkward way to put it would've been ''everyone wants to fuck you until next tuesday' but sure

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ... where did they all go?

 **ScarySpiderWoman** : you scared them straight

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : but none of them are straight?

 **ScarySpiderWoman** : exactly

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : oh fuck-

~~~~**Spider-Man** : so iv'e read my good dose of sin for the day. what have you guys done today?

 **IronPopTartMan** : bleached my eyeballs

 **Mr.Jesus:** bathed in Holy Water

 **CaptainRighteous** : That is surprisingly very in-character right now. I for one, practiced a bit in the Training room with Sam

 **FalconsAreCool** : Yea, then we ate enough to feed the whole country

 **MischievousSnek** : i just did some work

 **Spider-Man** : you actually have a job?

 **MischievousSnek** : personally work, you'll understand soon, young spider

 **Spider-Man** : okay...?

**IronPopTartMan** : WHO PUT MY WHOLE SUIT IN JELLO

 **CAPTAINRIGHTEOUS** : AND WHO HID AWAY MY SHIELD

 **Spider-Man** : so that's what you meant mr.loki

 **MischievousSnek** : you'll learn from the best young spider, you have potential, just watch me

 **IronPopTartMan** : LOKI, I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU

 **Mr.Jesus** : calm thy self

 **IronPopTartMan** : FUCK YOU

 **Mr.Jesus:** I have Steve to do that

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : we didn't need to know that 

 **FalconsAreCool** : Says YOU

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : I'VE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES

 **FalconsAreCool** : JUST BECAUSE YOUR LEARNED DOESN'T MEAN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : CAN WE JUST LET IT GO, I WON'T DO IT AGAIN

 **FalconsAreCool** : NO, WE CAN'T JUST LET IT GO

 **Spider-Man** : can we just not bring it up? i feel bad for mr.thor

 **FalconsAreCool** : Sure Spidey

 **CAWCAWMOTEHRFUCKERS** : omg

 **Spider-Man** : also, Mr.Loki can you please give Cap his shield back? I think he is about to tear this whole building down if you don't

 **IronPopTartMan** : what about me?!

 **Spider-Man** : Mr.Loki can't do much about the jelo Mr.Stark, your stuck working on that by yourself. unless you want my help?

 **IronPopTartMan** : get your ass in here kid and help me

 **Spider-Man** : ok, Mr.Stark, but first, Mr.Loki?

 **MischievousSnek** : yea, i'll give it back, whatever

 **Spider-Man** : okay! thank you! bye!

 **PopTartLover** : Your only gonna give it back in a few hours, aren't you Brother?

 **MischievousSnek** : i'm giving it back in a few hours

 **CaptainRighteous** : COME ON-

**IronPopTartMan** : the suit has been saved

 **CaptainRighteous** : And my shield has been given back

 **Spider-Man:** see? no harm done!

 **IronPopTartMan** : are we talking physical or mental kid? because those few hours of getting sticking jello off my suit shaved off a good layer of my sanity

 **Spider-Man** : don't be dramatic Mr.Stark! 

 **IronPopTartMan** : your asking for the impossible there kid

 **Spider-Man** : one can only hope

**Spider-Man** : I HAVE AN IDEA!

 **IronPopTartMan** : okay, you have me officially scared kid

 **Spider-Man:** WHY?!

 **IronPopTartMan** : last time you texted me that we ended up stuck in the middle of the atlantic ocean with a bowl of noodles!

 **CaptainRighteous** : What?!

 **Mr.Jesus** : not the weirdest thing iv'e ever heard of

 **MischievousSnek** : i approve

 **IronPopTartMan** : i really don't want to go into the details of what happened right now

 **Spider-Man** : OKAY, that was ONE time! now this one is a very innocent idea! how about all the avengers have a movie night?!

 **IronPopTartMan** : now kid, that sounds like an amazing idea but i'm not sure if the others would really want that- 

 **FalconsAreCool** : How about you let us judge that for ourselves?

 **PopTartLover** : I for one, think that is an amazing idea! It shall help me become more accustomed to all your Midguardians culture and ways!

 **CaptainRighteous** : And Bucky and I to catch up on modern culture, right Buck?

 **Mr.Jesus** : yeah

 **MischievousSnek** : i suppose it i am not losing anything by watching a few movies with you all. i even have the bonus of free-food

 **Spider-Man** : but you already have free-food at the tower?

 **MischievousSnek** : details, details

 **ScarySpiderWoman** : if I'm free that day, i'll consider it

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : well, i'm definitely going, can't let you guys be having fun without me, now can I?

 **FalconsAreCool** : Well, If Cap is going then I'm going as well

 **IronPopTartMan** : well... seems like it's official then, i'll make sure to ask everyone else if they want to come. Cap, can you ask Wanda if she wants to be there?

 **CaptainRighteous** : Sure

 **Spider-Man:** nice! this will be so much fun! =D thanks you guys!

 **IronPopTartMan** : yeah, yeah

 **IronPopTartMan** : dinner will be ready soon kid, so get your ass down here

 **Spider-Man:** of course! i'm coming down right now mr.stark!

~~~~**Mr.Jesus** : that kid is really something

 **CaptainRighteous** : Yea, he is

**Author's Note:**

> Iv'e update 4 days in a row oof- This is what happens when you have no self-control.  
> Tell me if you liked it guys! I know I'm repeating myself but I love comments! TwT


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